Most Christians know the “saved” definition for P.U.S.H.

Pray until something happens.

And many of us have lived by this exhortation, me included.

I cannot count the number of times I have prayed about the same thing.

Lord, please heal my body.

Lord, please show me the source of illness in my body.

Lord, please deliver me from this affliction.

It is hard enough to fight off discouragement and despair and continue to pray about something over and over again.

But when you are constantly praying and not only does it seem like God is not responding but your issue also gets worse?

That fatigue quickly turns into utter confusion, frustration, and defeat.

Have you ever been angry at God? I know I have.

I mean, how can a so-called loving God constantly see me come to him, sometimes in tears and most times in hopelessness, pleading for help yet refuse to do anything?

And then He—who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and in complete control of everything—keeps sitting there watching as my situation worsens.

And let’s be real, Peculiar People; sometimes when it seems like all hell is breaking out around you, the last thing you want to hear is “just have faith” or “just keep praying.”

I know there have been many times where I have wanted to scream that I do have faith! Can’t you see that by the constant remedies I try, the research on solutions that I do to be a “true believer” and put my works with my faith?

And I am ALWAYS praying! When I wake up, before I go to bed, on my lunch break, on my drive home, and even being humble enough to request it from others when they ask, “how can I help?”

 Where are all my tired and frustrated Christians at? Can I get an amen?

via GIPHY

P.U.S.Hing can be difficult to do when it seems like the two-way street of communication has turned into a one-way road.

I was reminded of this last week when, yet again, I found myself trying to pray about my constant struggle but tears were all I had the strength to muster up.

And, once again, it seemed like God was silently watching.

But, later that evening, I stumbled across something that spoke to me loud and clear.

I am reading a book by Desiring God co-founder Jon Bloom called Don’t Follow Your Heart. That night I had just so happened to be starting a new chapter entitled “The Unexpected Answers of God.”

In this chapter, Bloom explains how though we pray for our longings and desires, we—being sin natured with finite understanding—cannot help but have unreal, romantic imaginations and expectations about what God’s answers to our prayers will be. And because of this, we are often unprepared for how God answers us.

Bloom says that oftentimes, God’s answers do not look at first like answers.

They look like problems. They look like trouble. They look like loss, disappointment, affliction, conflict, sorrow, and increased selfishness. They cause deep soul wrestling and expose sins and doubts and fears. They are not what we expect, and we often do not see how they correspond to our prayers.

He goes on to illustrate this:

The author listed example after example, which fully challenged everything I thought I knew about answered prayer. And it led me to reexamine my feelings toward God and his seeming inaction.

Many times, I have prayed for God to increase my patience. So, wouldn’t he give me opportunities to exercise patience? And we all know that most situations requiring us to be patience are not pleasant.

I have prayed for strength to endure a difficult job. Wouldn’t God place me in scenarios on the job that will build my strength? Like having difficult conversations with co-workers, honoring a micro-managing boss, choosing to not participate in office gossip, and still working as unto the Lord even when I am passed for a well-deserved promotion?

And let’s not forget my never-ending battle with my health. I have prayed and cried, prayed and cried (as Donnie McClurkin would say) for healing. And I’ll be honest that this is such a sensitive area for me that my heart still wrestles with how God may be answering my prayers in this area. He has not answered my expectation of physical healing, but perhaps Him not removing my ailment is to remind me that I live in a broken body, in a broken world that are both sick because of sin. And although sin has serious effects that we unfortunately experience while on earth, our hope is in someone greater. Someone who was powerful enough to take all forms of sickness and brokenness into Himself and ultimately defeat sin and death, so that one day my afflicted body and soul will never experience affliction again. Maybe God’s answer challenges me not focus on what is now, but rejoice for who is to come.

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Are you struggling with what feels like unanswered prayers? I encourage you to read this book (download here) and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind and help you truly see the ways God may be answering your prayers.

God plainly tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 that His thoughts and ways are not ours. They are higher.

Immediate actions that wipe out the problem, remove the person, increase the bank account, and restore the relationship may seem like the best way to answer our prayers. But we must remember that we are looking at the situation through broken lenses and cannot see the full picture as God can.

His ways may not be fun, or feel good, or even make sense to us.

But it’s in those times that we must choose to still seek Him, even if that means our P.U.S.H. looks a little different.

Lord, please help me to believe you are able to do what I have asked and to accept how you choose to do it.