I know three women, all different ages, and each with different life experiences. And although they don’t know one another, each of these ladies has a peculiar connection: They are Christians who did things “God’s way,” but did not seem to get Godly results.

Take woman #1, for example. She got married at age 28, and because of her commitment to God, she had “saved” herself for her future husband. Some of her friends had told her about their amazing sexual experiences, so this woman was confident that she and her new husband would experience their own amazing. Besides, some of the people she knew having such mind-blowing encounters weren’t married; so, surely God would bless the sex in this marriage.

But her expectations of a smooth, sensual sex life were quickly shattered. Sex was not effortless or always enjoyable and the bumpy road over the past two years of marriage left woman #1 confused, frustrated, and disappointed.

Then we have woman #2, who was saved, single, and on fire for God as she happily used her gifts to connect people to Christ. Although she desired to be married and have children one day, she truly lived like Jesus, humbly submitting to “not my will, Father, but your will be done.” She, too, was a virgin. And at age 37, the Lord saw fit to bless her with a Christian man.

They happily wed and both continued in ministry. And although they witnessed external transformation in those around them, sadly, the same wasn’t true internally. Two years later, the couple found themselves living apart. Days turned into months, and separation turned into divorce. Now, woman #2 is preparing to celebrate turning 40, but this new chapter is gifting her with an old status: single.

Finally, there is woman #3 who just turned 44, and at this point, she’s trying to accept that she may never see her dreams of marriage and motherhood. Although she’s prayed, gone to singles ministries, served the church faithfully, and even browsed christianmingle.com, she is still very much single. Her passion is working with youth and she has always known that gift would benefit her as a mother, but time is no longer on her side.

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There are many Christians who can relate to these women, even though most of us would shy away from admitting it. But let’s allow ourselves to be real for a minute, saints.

Being a Christian is not easy.

We often have to take the road less followed and certainly less popular in today’s society, even though many times what we discover at the end is not the treasure we believed God would grant us. And that’s a tough pill to swallow.

We surrendered our lives to Christ. Some of us gave up clubbing and smoking. Others had to walk away from friends or family.

In a world bombarded with sex, we chose to abstain. And even if we didn’t at first, after coming to know Jesus, we rededicated our bodies to Him and committed to sexual purity before marriage. Y’all know this ain’t easy!

Some of us have patiently waited for a spouse; some of us are still waiting.

And after years of living life God’s way, what are our results?

Hardships. Tragedies. Betrayals . . . and more waiting.

I repeat: being a Christian is not easy, and our chosen lifestyle feels much more difficult when we see others “living their best life” while we continue to pray for ours. The bible tells us that we won’t lack any good thing if we seek the Lord. So, why then does it feel like non-Christians who aren’t seeking are more blessed than those of us who are?

Can we be transparent? It’s confusing to see so many people just “out here” and joyfully getting it in while married Christians are struggling to find sexual compatibility with their spouse. But, Jesus, I followed your way and remained abstinent. Why did I get struggle-bus sex in my marriage in return?

You pray, wait for a spouse, do your best to keep God as a priority, and not let companionship consume your focus. Meanwhile everyone around you is getting engaged while you listen to yet another sermon on God’s timing to hopefully ease the sting of loneliness. Lord, I’m trying to “seek ye first” and follow biblical principles, so why can’t you finally send me a Christian spouse? Heck, I’d settle for a date!

Let’s not forget about finances. You know some people flat out don’t pay their tithes but just posted their “We bought a house!” photo on Instagram. Meanwhile, you’re giving 10 percent even though each month it’s a struggle to pay the bills. Why does it feel like I can’t ever be financially secure, but my non-Christian co-worker just got a pay raise?

I know this can be a taboo topic, but this isn’t about self-righteousness or thinking we are better than others. As believers, we trust that the biblical way is the right way, so it’s very confusing when 1) even though you do your best to live according to the word, your life’s circumstances aren’t full of God’s promises of hope and a future and 2) you see people being rewarded for doing things that don’t align with God’s word. And it looks like they’re thriving?

Now, of course we have all heard the range of explanations for our seemingly mismatched Christian experiences:

• It’s easy to look at a person’s outside circumstances and not really know what’s happening behind closed doors;
• The world’s definition of “success” isn’t always aligned with God’s; and
• Because of sin, life is simply unfair and bad things happen to good people.

I get all that, but in this moment, I don’t want to rack my brain for a comforting spiritual explanation.
I want to do what most Christians dare not and face uncomfortable truths.

I want to admit that even though I love Jesus with everything that I am and accept that ultimately He knows what is best, no matter what life brings my way, it’s discouraging to sacrifice and do things the “right way” only to have disappointing results.

I want to be honest that although following Christ brings us life-transforming freedom and joy, this journey is also one of immense suffering.

I don’t want to be afraid to reveal that being a Christian is not always easy, and it’s okay to talk about this.

Many times I have neglected to share my feelings with other believers for fear of being labeled faithless. But I’m grateful that three women decided to be honest with me, and I pray more Christians won’t be fearful to talk about this part of our lives, because sometimes knowing that someone can relate to your struggles is more encouraging than knowing the reason behind them.

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Photo by Anna Shvets